星期四, 8月 03, 2006
Today i will say bout wat i think my frenz will think after reading my last entry... And i have to say 1st i'm nt against anyone or sayin anyone, i'm jus writtin out wat i think and maybe wat i think wasnt wat they think...Well, i shall say wat i update ytd wasnt tryin to A.A as i dun have to do so... I'm jus tryin to write out in our i feel when i get to knw more things and sometime is hard to face e person and say all things out... Since i knw they will be reading my blog i will jus write it out and let that person knw how i feel towards everythings plus i didnt mention any name at all so y bother whether will there be ppl keep askin who is that person... If ppl ask me i dun wanna say i will nt say out e name and e day when u wrote things out in ur blog u will have already knw sure will have many ppl keep askin u de so jus dun say la.... When i wanted to update i knw that person will be reading or maybe she/he will be angry or maybe ppl around will be angry too in wat i wrote but they dun knw e story behind... I have tryin to hide more things by nt writting in out le so doesnt mean wat u all reading now is 'all' my feelin as is nt... Blog is a place when u can vent ur anger instead of venting on ur frenz... No one is perfect, no story is perfect too... U cant expected ur blog to have only all e gd memorise cos is nt true and when ppl who dun knw u will sure started to ask ' wow, this gal really no bad memorise meh? or she's hiding by showing ppl on her gd side only?!' will that be more worst den writtin everythings bout urself no matter is gd or bad meh??? Ya is right update gd memory on ur blog so that when u grow old and went back to ur blog and read u will feel happy but can u cfm u will sure forget everythings when u started to read???! I can say loud i'm nt a perfect person too and i did many things wrong too but i nv hide it as i wan ppl to c wat i am... Ya now when everyone saw my true face le and maybe becos of that they r angry wid me or dun even nd me tis frenz le ba but i can only say thats wat i am... U cant expect me to change to another person where u will still leave me one day maybe one yr later or two yrs later...All my friends who knw me best knw that i'm a coward toward friendship as i nd friendship damm badly... I still rem when i'm in pri sch i have a few cloz friends in my class and one day i get to knw other gals frm other sch which is jus opp my sch and i begin to hang out wid em... E gals frm other sch have lots of frenz den me and my frenz thats e reason y we hang out tgt... And becos of i wanna get more cloz wid em i start to treat em eat and even buy gift for em on and off till they keep askin em to do so whenever i'm wid em and if i dun treat em or buy for em they will get angry wid me and will nv go out wid me & co le... Until one day me n my best friend started to realise we r stupid to do so and we stop doin to c wat will happen... Will i nv expected they started to have a gap wid us and i was damm sad lor... haiz...Frm that day onwards i will treasure each and every of my frenz who r true to me.... And i begin to realise friendship will nv be forever so i will try no matter what to meet em when we r tgt even i cant go out... Cos i nv kwn when will be lost contact out of sudden.... But most of e friends i get to knw will nv understand me as no matter wat things i done for em they will still think that i'm nt helpin at all... And they will only keep askin me to understand em where they dun wanna to understand me at all... When they nd someone to listen to their complain i will always be there and nt tellin anyone else but when i nd em they will act blur by sayin they r nt free or sayin i'm boliao etc.... I'm nt sayin world is unfair to me as i'm happy enough to have my family and those swt memory my friends give it to me... Nth will also be fair in e world and dun ever expect ppl to understand u when u choose nt to understand em as i was once be hurt before... Friends started to leave me and i'm still tryin to hold it back to revive e broken friendship but will it be use when i'm e only one tryin??? I dun have e ans too as i'm too tired to think too le... Sometime things is really hard to do but easy to say it out ...After typing all above i started to look around my office and realise i have many feelin in my mind and heart is pain too... Maybe ppl who r nt in will get angry too after reading my last entry while wy and ping is right stop writtin things to make ppl sad le... I knw i cant gain anythings but i jus wanna say out my feelin... Maybe will change my blog add to another one when no one can get to c it so i will be able to write out all my feelin by nt makin anyone sad... P/S: So friends out there if u all cant get in to my blog frm tml onwards pls dun be surprise ... Will change it soon and wont let anyone knw e new add... ~NOTHING MORE TO SAY~I SHALL CONCENTRATE ON MY COMPETITON TML~